Some musings

 A single blank page is the scariest thing in the world.....


On one hand, it's infinite freedom. A complete blank canvas ready to take on whatever the artist wants. An undiscovered masterpiece, a confession, a dream, a mirror into the soul of the artist. It can be anything.


On the other hand, the infinite nature of the blank page is also its worst aspect. It is nothing. Until there is something on the page, there may never be anything on the page. What if it stays empty forever? What if it's never filled with something good enough?


Unlimited potential also means unlimited potential for failure, and therein lies the problem.


Like Schroedinger's cat, until the page is filled, it has the potential to be ultimate success or abject failure, both alive and dead at the same time. This is both the best thing I've ever written and the worst thing I'll ever write.


As someone who is seriously dabbling in creative endeavours for the first time in years, it scares the hell out of me.


All my ideas are in my head, and yet the boundless nature of the blank page is holding me back.


I don't know how to convince other people that my work is worth reading when I struggle to write it myself. Right now, I have four drafts of stories sitting waiting for me to revisit. Just when I'm happy with them, I start to tweak and change, and then I'm writing more and more, never knowing when to stop. Never knowing when is enough.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Wall

The Wall I wake. I see the wall. The wall is there to protect me, to keep me safe. The wall is comforting.  I walk through the meadow. I see the wall to my left and to my right. It stretches out in the distance in front of me and trails off far behind me. The wall is there to protect me, to keep me safe. The wall is comforting.  I wander down to the stream and through the forest, where the rush of the water and the rhythmic sound of the wind in the trees soothe me, and I feel happy. All the while, the wall stands there, protecting me.  I’m all alone here, but it doesn’t seem strange. I am at peace here alone because I know the wall is there to protect me, to keep me safe. The wall is comforting.  The sun beats down on my face, but the wind is cool and refreshing. The sound of the birds in the trees brings me joy. The birds fly above the wall. I sometimes wish I could see what lies beyond as they do, but then I remember the wall is there to protect me, to keep me safe...
Read more

Another Life

 Another twisted technological story, this time with a twist. As this story plays on the multiverse trope, I had two ideas for the ending of the story so decided, in true sci-fi fashion to write them both.  Jordan lay awake staring at the large crack in his ceiling listening to the dull hum of his fridge. The hum that never seemed to stop. It was nearly 2am and sleep had long since eluded him. It was his birthday yesterday. His gifts? A rejection email, a microwaved lasagne, and exactly zero “happy birthdays.” Even from his own mother. He picked up his phone and started to doom-scroll through Reddit when his email pinged from an unknown address - the subject line  “Ever wonder what would’ve happened if you got that big break?” The email simply read  “Download Reflekt. “Talk to the person you could’ve been,” . No stars. No reviews just a link to an app. “ Fuck it” he thought and clicked the link. The app downloaded and appeared on his home screen. He entered his n...
Read more